We can all be better and believe it or not, it can be easy. I have found the answer and would love to see all of my friends and followers find it as well. As we change for the better, so will those who we come in contact frequently. Feel free to send them here as well, since I am sure that when you see the change in your own life you will want the same for those that you love. That is, after all, why I started this blog!
"For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else" -Winston Churchill
"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty" -Winston Churchill
"If you think about your disaster you will get it. Brood about death and you hasten your demise. Think positively and masterfully with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience" -Swami Vivekananda
"There are always flowers for those who want to see them" -Henri Matisse
"I have found that if you love life, life will love you back" -Arthur Rubinstein
"Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results" -Willie Nelson
"People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them" -Epictetus
"A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks he becomes" -Mahatma Gandhi
"Every person is the creation of himself, the image of his own thinking and believing. As individuals think and believe, so they are" -Claude Bristol
"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world" -Buddha
"Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different" -Katherine Mansfield
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" -Oscar Wilde
"Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost" -Helen Keller
"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world" -Anne Frank
"I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one's head pointed toward the sun, one's feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death" -Nelson Mandela
"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself" -Lucille Ball
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence" -Helen Keller
Everyone has struggles. If you told me you didn't struggle with anything, that would probably be the last conversation we ever had. (Lying is not one of my favorite traits in a person, just sayin') Our struggles are where we learn and where we grow. They are also an opportunity for discovery. We gain the knowledge, when we are at our lowest, of who really cares and who turns away until everything is sunshine and rainbows again. I like sunshine and rainbows as much as anyone, but I have learned to be grateful for the struggles in between, as well. After all, the beauty of a rainbow would likely be diminished if I could look to the sky and see it whenever I wanted, right? It's the rainy storms that make evident it's beauty!
"Continuous eloquence wearies. Grandeur must be abandoned to be appreciated. Continuity in everything is unpleasant. Cold is agreeable, that we may get warm." ~ Blaise Pascal
During our struggles, we search for answers. We search for comfort and support. We search for peace. All of these can come from obvious places like our families and friends. Sometimes they come from the not so obvious places. I cannot pretend to know what works best for everyone, but I can share what works for me in the hopes that it may help another. When I speak of my faith, I ask that you keep an open mind and apply it to whatever you believe in. The only thing that I will ever adamently insist on, is that you believe in SOMETHING. There has to be SOMETHING that you attribute the impossible to. There needs to be SOMETHING that you turn to in the times when you feel like everyone else has turned away. The greatest thing you could possibly ever do for yourself is to find SOMETHING to put your faith in. If, after me saying that, you think reading about what I choose to believe in is going to offend or bother you, please find another post to read. I can assure you that my faith is unshakeable and no questions or debates will change what I already know.
"In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't." ~ Blaise Pascal
I can very proudly say that I believe in God and let you all know that I believe that it is through Him that I have made it to where I am in life. There are things that I have been faced with which I would have never believed, until recently, that I could truly be grateful for. Believing that these things were placed before me by SOMETHING, or in my case by God, helps me to accept that there is a reason for them. My struggles have all been mine and only mine because of a plan that is beyond anything that I could have possibly constructed for myself. My faith that they are of God for a greater purpose in my life brings me comfort when I am handling them since I believe that He would not give me what I cannot handle. I have found that worry is nothing but a big, old waste of time. Worry time is much more productively spent seeking the lesson I am learning while locating a solution to the obstacle I face. When I am hard pressed to find an obvious or possible solution, I wait. I wait and I pray because I know that God ALWAYS makes a way for me. I know because I have seen proof. I know because He has provided for me time and time again.
"People are more generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have been discovered by others." ~ Blaise Pascal
I have seen people go through extraordinary circumstances. I have been through extraordinary circumstances myself. Sometimes we look at others and wonder if we could endure what they are going through. That is where I am tonight. There is a family that I know is fighting a battle harder than any I could ever imagine. In October of 2010, my cousin's son was diagnosed with Anaplastic Astracytoma. An 8 year old boy with an inoperable brain tumor and an extraordinary will to live has become known to thousands through a Facebook page that is frequently updated by his parents. Christian's Crusaders has become more than just a page where Christian's parents can update on his status. It has become a place where kind words are shared among people from all over the country and beyond. It is a place where people tell Christian "good morning" when they wake up and "good night" before they go to bed. Some come to tell jokes to Christian, while others come to share stories of their sports teams progress as they all wear their green ~Be Brave - Be Strong~ bracelets. Their are pictures and touching stories posted by Christian's parents along with countless posts telling Christian what a hero he is. The outpouring of love and support that I have been witness to on the Christian's Crusaders page is beyond amazing. To see how many people respond to a post, having never met this family, displays the ability of one little boy to reside in the hearts of so many. It makes me happy to see each and every person respond because it has to be a great comfort to this family as they live everyday with a situation that is out of their control. I am sure that they are well aware that they are not alone in their fight. I am sure because they frequently let everyone know how much they appreciate the support. One example would be a post from yesterday that received 480 likes and 64 comments. Here is what it said:
"Joan and I have prayed 2-3 hours a day since Christian was diagnosed. He's been blessed by 2 Cardinals, numerous healing priests and he has been touched by more religious artifacts than I knew existed. We've witnessed him clinging to life but he has always pulled through. Doctors can't explain it but its pretty obvious to me: God is in control. If God's will is to grant this miracle, smile, and know you were all part of it."
One post details so many things. You learn of Christian's amazing courage and strength. You learn of the multitudes of people who have become interested in the well being of this little boy. You learn of parents who are comforted through their extraordinary faith and who still find time in their busy days to pray. You learn that these parents have a way of including every single one of Christian's Crusaders in every step of his fight and their need to include them all in the miracle that they are all waiting for. Last night came another post. The most recent news was that Christian was on his way to the Emergency Room at Children's Hospital. Within seconds, the comments and posts started pouring in. During the past ten hours, with little more that we could do but wait for an update, the posts have continued. We all wait, knowing we are not alone!
(This was written a few days ago but finished up today. I think it may be needed by a few people who follow this blog so I figured I would get it published!)
Let me start by saying that as I began my post today, it had not a single thing to do with being content. That post was started but has taken a back burner to what I am going to share with you now.
Tonight, I went to work at a job that is not year round. This evening was my last night of work at this job until right around the beginning of March of next year. After my shift was over, I went out with some friends to a Halloween party. I will tell you that I was dressed up as a hippee, and a super hot one at that ;) , but that is just a detail. When I arrived at the party, I knew quite a few people. I said hi to them all and went about my night. A little later on, I received a text from one who had left saying that seeing me had made a big difference in their day and how much it was appreciated. I asked if everything was alright and opened up the conversation in case this person may want to talk about it a little bit. As it turns out, they did. Of course they did. If they didn't, they wouldn't have let on that my presence made a difference, right?
Once I made known that I was interested in hearing about what had this person feeling down, I got the whole story. I will not discuss any details that will make obvious who this person was but I will tell you the story because I am sure that what I said brought some comfort. I am also sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the person involved would want me to use this story to help if anyone else was struggling with the same feelings that they were. All of my friends know why I write. I write so that I may share with others what I have found to work. There are things that comfort me when I am feeling a little less than chipper. It has taken time to make these ways of thinking feel natural. Several years of these habits having to be forced have led to a point where now they are automatic. That brings me to the situation at hand.
My friend, and I am happy that this person has become a friend, felt that they had worked extremely hard on a certain project. A lot of research and dedication went into preparing something and due to the weather we are expecting tomorrow, the event in which all of their hard work would be displayed was rescheduled. Not only that, but the date in which the event was now going to occur is during a time when this person will be on vacation with their family and unable to attend. Come to find out, this is not the first time that my friend was unable to fulfill their duties due to weather. Their text consisted of blaming Mother Nature and the disappointment they felt over being unable to display their work at the proper time.
Now, I do not think there is a single one of us who is a stranger to disappointment. Disappointment is a tricky emotion to conquer. I will not deny that for even a second. And the advice that came to me immediately is probably the same advice I would have to remind myself of in the same situation. Don't be fooled! Just because I know what I should feel, doesn't mean it is always easy. Sometimes I have to do a little work to convince myself. It was not me who needed convincing this time, however, and I was not about to show any weakness as I gave the advice that I know this friend was seeking. My advice was this:
"Every single thing happens for a specific reason. Never forget that! Please do not for a second think that Mother Nature knows better than God. Do not question His timing. Take what is given and accept that there is a reason why you were not meant to do it. There IS a reason. Be at peace and know that. When you truly BELIEVE, there is no letdown, just the wait till u figure out the Plan. Love you!"
This same advice could go for any disappointment we face in our lives. When something doesn't go my way and I begin to feel disappointment creep in, I quickly remind myself that I did not belong doing what I anticipated and remind myself to be thankful that Someone knows better what I should and should not be doing at any moment in time. Disappointment is closely related to worry. They are two feelings that serve no POSITIVE purpose. In my quest for a POSITIVE life, such feelings have no place. If a POSITIVE life is something that you seek, the elimination of such negative feelings will only make your journey more easily travelled. Since there will certainly be roadblocks that are out of our control, it is to our advantage to find ways around as many as we can.
My mini showing off her Christian's Crusaders bracelet :)
When watching Oprah Winfrey's final show several months ago, one of her surprise guests was Dakota Fanning who was surrounded by a crowd of other young people who had grown up watching the Oprah show. Several of them spoke about the change that she had encouraged in their lives. One young lady had such an infectious smile as she spoke. She looked as though she had surely found the secret of happiness. I have heard the words that she said to Oprah so many times in my head since that day. With her glowing smile she simply said, "Because of you, every morning I look in the mirror and say ~Good morning, Gorgeous!~" What a wonderful way to start each day! Could there be any better way to remind yourself daily just how beautiful you truly are? Now that the Oprah Show is over, do I not have an obligation to instill the values in my daughter, that so many have learned from watching Ms.Winfrey?
Over the past few years I have grown a lot. I have learned a great deal about myself and learned to take what I am given and make the best out of each and every situation. One of the most important lessons I have learned is the reason why this young girls message grabbed me as it did. It sounds easy. Actually, it is easy once you get the hang of it but most people are so focused on others and their opinions that they rarely take time to love themselves. A friend's Facebook status one day made reference to entering into a whirlwind love affair with yourself. This friend is someone who exudes confidence in everything she does. I can only hope that others see the same when they look at me. There is something about loving yourself that makes everything other than your own well being and happiness seem secondary. As it should be, I might add! Imagine living your entire life aiming to please others. How will you ever find what makes you happy if you are always doing things to ensure the happiness of others? Each individual has their very own chance to do what makes them happy. Take advantage of yours!
As I began this blog, it was with the hope of helping others. I hoped that by sharing my stories and how I have used them to better myself, I would be able to encourage others to do the same without waiting for them to feel comfortable enough to ask me how. In only a few short weeks my blog has exceded 250 views and I am receiving feedback daily on the effect that my writing is having on others. I have made new friends and had the opportunity to encourage some who I may never have met otherwise. My blog has become much less of my struggles and much more of the techniques I have learned in the process. Coping mechanisms, of sorts, have become more of a way of life than a temporary fix in times of trouble. Often times I think that I wish I had known all that I know now before entering middle school. That thought quickly gives way to the knowledge that each and every struggle I faced and learned from made me better able to identify with those who may be going through some of the same things. By my own experience with suffering, I know the pain that some may be struggling through and that is the fuel that ignites my fire to teach what I know.
As much of a reward as it is to hear the stories of those I don't know who have said that my words inspire and uplift them, I couldn't help but wonder if I could possibly let my daughter in on all these secrets early on. To me, seeing her struggle less with adversity and trying to fit in would be the ultimate reward for my efforts. To see my child walk around with the same self love that I have found would eliminate much worry on my part that she may ever fall prey to someone who did not have her best interests in mind. To teach her to love herself would be the first step toward eliminating the rising problem of bullying where my own child was concerned. Although directing her to my blog meant I would need to be more careful when sharing details of my past, the benefits that could result made the limitations well worth it. This blog meant that I would not have to wait for her to ask advice, nor would I have to initiate a conversation where she may feel I was responding to a certain action on her part. By simply sharing in my blog, she can learn how to achieve self love and happiness by reading what I have written to others on her own time. My words in the blog combined with my example of finding the POSITIVE in any number of situations, should serve as a good basis by which to start her on the path to a healthy love of self.
When I first shared the blog address with my daughter, it was because we had wound up in a conversation about happiness and I wanted her to read the 21 ways to achieve happiness and my personal description of each. I was thrilled several days later when she started pressuring me to create new posts. How many parents can say that their teen children seem to WANT to hear what they have to say? When I posted my blog about Christian and his Crusaders, Alexis had plenty of questions. We talked for quite some time about Christian and the fact that if she was going to commit to wearing the bracelet, she would have to promise to pray for Christian as often as possible. I could have never imagined what an effect Christian's story would have on my own little girl. She has used the Crusader's bracelet as not only a reminder to pray for Christian, but also as a reminder to herself to ~Be Strong, Be Brave~. She has statused about Christian, made her profile pic to include her bracelet, and most recently asked me to help her start her own blog where she can share her own thoughts now that she has been so touched by the story of the Amazing Mr. C. Last night, she created her first post and I was overcome with pride as I read what she wrote. Her post was thought provoking and compassionate while calling for the same from others.
While shopping the other day, I purchased a card to send to my mini in the mail. It was a card to remind her of just how special she is and how proud of her I am. In the letter I wrote to her in the card, I told her that I wanted her to look in the mirror at the beginning of each and every day and say, "Go get em, Gorgeous!" I sent this card on Wednesday morning and by Friday night had a post on my Facebook wall that said those exact words with a smiley face and a heart. If there was one thing that I wanted her to take from that card, it was that. That every morning I wanted her to acknowledge just how wonderful and beautiful she really is before facing a single second with anyone outside. Those words are now being repeated daily in her posts on my page and it overwhelms me with joy that she really got what I was trying to say. Of course I think she is beautiful and can acheive anything because I am her mother. My thoughts about this will do nothing to help a child who does not believe the same about herself. After this recent string of events, I began to think about what I expect her to gain from my writing. Its all the same things that I want all who read my blog to gain. This is what I have come up with.
***~She will grow up knowing that her view of herself is worth more than all the views of everyone she faces daily combined. ~She will know that her thoughts and feelings can never be wrong, simply wrong for someone else. ~She will know that her thoughts and feelings are not necessarily right for those she meets so she must not be fooled into thinking that she can help the world. ~She will know that she has the right to make her own choices regarding her life. ~She will know what is right and wrong as she makes those choices and take pride in the choices she makes. ~She will know that she is strong enough to walk away from anyone who ever tries to take control of her thoughts and actions. ~She will know that bullies are sissies who need to control others to feel better about themselves, whether in school or later in life. ~She will know that there are bullies everywhere, no matter how old you get. ~She will know that God has every answer she could ever need whether she like His answer or not. ~She will know that God's timing will most likely not be to her liking more often than not but should never be questioned. ~She will know that harsh words cut deeper than she could ever imagine and that much more can be said in love than in hatred and anger. ~She will know the pride that follows walking away the bigger person, is no comparison for the instant gratification of acting hastily in a negative manner. ~She will know the joy of giving. ~She will know that bringing a smile to another can be one of the greatest and easiest accomplishments that is within her reach daily. ~She will know that love will come and go. ~She will know that the only time that breakups are really 'The End' is when the other person had no place in your life to begin with. ~She will know that hard work in school, relationships and life itself, pays off. ~She will know that money never has and never will buy happiness. ~She will know that happiness is not anything of a destination, but rather a life long journey that should be fully enjoyed along the way. ~She will know that caring and compassion for others will add greatly to her own life experiences. ~She will know that the more respect she has for herself, the more respect others will have for her as well. ~She will know the difference between cocky and confident and she will know the proper way to exude confidence in every move she makes. ~She will know that lies and gossip will never produce anything but negativity. ~She will know that POSITIVE thinking is the best way to ensure that negative thoughts don't stand a chance. ~She will know that every single struggle has a lesson buried within. ~She will know that she deserves nothing less than the best out of every single moment. ~She will know that a mother's love is beyond compare regardless of time or distance. ~She will know that she is a gem and demand to be treated as such. ~***
Yes, these are all things that I try to instill in my daughter at all times, but her reading my blog gives her the chance to focus on each and every one in her own personal quiet time and discuss them with me as she feels the need. I am sure that there is not one single thing that will surprise her here, since I share my thoughts with her every chance I get. I believe that the way in which I conduct myself and my daily moods are a first hand example to her that I have found a way to live positively and happily. Her interest shows me that she is looking to do the same. That makes me one happy Mommy! :)
The following is one of the best videos that I have ever seen. When I wake up feeling less than chipper, I have learned to rely on lil Jessica to show me what needs to be done! Jessica's method of saying, "Go get em, Gorgeous!" is something that I am sure you will never forget.
