|My Mommy <3|
Seven years. That's how long it has been since I could call her on the phone and tell her Happy Birthday. The last time I made that call was 2004. The year she turned 48. Going off of experience, six November 2nd's worth of it, today (yesterday) is going to be a rough day. When she first passed there were four days a year that seemed unbearable. Four specific days a year that seemed nearly impossible to make it through and the entire Christmas season. To say that they have all gotten better would be a complete lie. It hasn't gotten a bit better any day of the year. Every day she is still gone. Every day I wish I could ask her advice or share a story of something that occurred during my day. People say that time heals and when they say it, you are under the impression that they mean that it will get better. Maybe that is what they mean. Maybe, if they have been through it, that may be the way they have found to put into words how they feel over time. I disagree. Adamently, in fact. The notion that the death of a loved one gets better is a lie! It does not get better. You simply learn to better deal with the loss and your feelings regarding it.